One of the nights we were in Vegas, we wanted to get into a club that we knew were going to get in for free at, but we just had to talk to the person who promised that. So, when they did not answer the phone we went up to the security guard/bouncers and tried to explain the situation. There was one that was super nice and had no problem with us, but this other asshole decided to be rude to us and start making unnecessary comments about us being 22. He told us we were self centered and I made a comment about knowing the world does not revolve around me because I am a mom and nothing is about me. He then proceeded to tell me my daughter was self centered too and he knew that for a fact. I immediately became upset. At first, I was crying because how can some idiot man talk crap about my baby girl he knows nothing about? We ended up walking away and halfway down the escalator, I turned into mama lion mode and was pissed! So, Amanda (shout out to her for deciding to speak up!) went to find a manager who then asked us to show her who he was. Long story short, we confronted the asshole who tried to play dumb. I have never been more fear less of a huge man in my life. I wanted to punch this man in the face, kick him in the shins, anything to hurt him like he hurt me. How dare he talk about my innocent daughter?! ughh just thinking about it still gets me worked up!
So what's the lesson I learned? Well, I learned a few.
First, I learned that your motherly instincts aren't all about knowing when something is wrong, but also knowing to protect your child(ren). The way I felt when I was yelling at that man was so crazy. I didn't care what would happen to me, all I cared about was defending my daughter. The courage and strength I had came out of nowhere. I mean, I love my friends to death, but if he would have left it at calling us self centered and stuff I would not have spoken up. But, for my Harper I would have done anything. I never knew what it felt like to be willing to take a bullet for anyone until now. It amazes me how willing I was to do whatever it took to make sure he knew he was wrong!
Second, I learned that this wasn't the last time I will have to defend my daughter. I know throughout life Harper will have many conflicts and problems in life and it is my job as her mom to be there and protect and defend her. We all know girls are catty and as much as I wish I could, I know I can't stop things from happening to Harper; I can't put her in a bubble. But, knowing that I am strong enough to be there for her is so comforting.
Lastly, I learned that I needed to understand hurting that man would not have been the answer. Yes, I would have felt so good knowing this guy was in pain, but that's not what I would want Harper to learn. I would have wanted her to stand up for herself of course, but not to stoop to the other person's level. Children will repeat what we do and the more I think about the more I realize how proud Harper would have been to know that I stood up for her and didn't get ghetto even though I wanted to so badly!!
Some of you may think I am over reacting and that's fine, but once you understand or if you have kids I am sure you would have done the same thing.
I also realized that I am slowly moving into a different stage of my life. I had an amazing trip and did some crazy things, but being home felt so much better. I am so happy to be home with my two best friends, Gavin and Harper, and I wouldn't mind if I never went on another trip ever again. I don't want to do things without them. The entire trip I found myself thinking "Gavin would love this" or "Harper would have so much fun here" I realize my family is the most important thing and I don't want to experience things without sharing it with them. As Harper gets older I feel myself actually forming a true friendship with her. We laugh and play and I know she actually can comprehend what's happening now and it was what I missed the most about being home.
I am so lucky though to have been able to go. My amazing fiance held down the fort while I was gone and made sure everything was going smoothly so I didn't have to worry. I truly am so lucky to have him in my life! Being away for so long truly opened my eyes to that and I have never enjoyed cuddling with him so much in my life!
I felt like some people judged me for leaving Harper for so long and thought I was a bad mom, but I think I deserved a little vacation. Being a mom doesn't mean I have to stay cooped up all day and not do anything. When I became a mom I didn't turn into some boring old lady. I think some people think that being parents means not interacting with other people. I can't do that. I need to have real adult conversations and do my own thing and Gavin and I need time for ourselves to strengthen our relationship as a couple. So, if you thought I was a bad mom for going to Vegas, I disagree. Honestly, I think it was just what I needed because I feel refreshed and my relationship with Gavin seems stronger.
Vegas didn't just leave me with hangovers and amazing nights, but it also gave me a new outlook on being a mom and soon to be wife as well as lessons I needed to learn. So, not everything that happens in Vegas needs to stay in Vegas :)
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(Hence my fake smile)
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At our favorite club in Vegas!
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Harper playing with the light stick I brought home for her and wearing her Vegas shirt! Being reunited was the best feeling ever!
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